The #1 Obstacle to Success

Everyday, people all over the world feel like they aren’t living up to their potential. They know they can do more to live their best life and be the best version of themselves they can be. But there’s something, some unknown force, holding them back. That force is fear, and it is the biggest obstacle to success in so many personal and professional lives.

There’s a pretty decent chance that you are familiar with the following scenario:

You have a dream, a big one. This dream lights a fire in your belly and fills your heart with hope. Maybe you want to write a book, or perhaps you have an idea for a new business that will allow you to finally leave your current soul-sucking job. You might want to apply for a big promotion at work, volunteer with your favorite local non-profit, or start your own charitable organization. Whatever this thing is, you are confident that will make you happier. You think about things you can do to realize this dream and make plans in your head; you research it and get excited over it.

And then fear takes over. Thoughts of rejection, failure, ridicule, and even success flood the mind and often paralyze and prevent you from taking any real action. You make seemingly legitimate excuses to stay in your comfort zone in order to avoid unwanted feelings and potentially unfavorable results.

You tell yourself you are too busy, too young, too old, or it’s too expensive, too hard, too scary. Fear talks you out of taking any action towards trying to live out your dreams. And so, your life goes on as is.

Fear holds us back. It keeps us from pursuing our dreams and being who we truly want to be. It is the biggest obstacle to success, regardless of your definition of success.

Types of fear

Common fears include those of rejection, failure, ridicule or judgement, and success.

Fear of rejection

It doesn’t matter who you are, rejection hurts. Nobody likes to be shot down, overlooked, abandoned, or unaccepted. So, we tend to avoid situations where rejection is possible. We refrain from initiating a romantic relationship with someone because we are afraid our feelings won’t be reciprocated. The idea to apply for that promotion goes unexplored because the thought of being passed over is too much to bear. Avoiding people who we don’t know becomes second nature because we fear they won’t like us.

We don’t want to stand out from the crowd and risk rejection, so we work to blend in.

Fear of failure

Have you ever put off a project or an assignment until the last possible second? Or worse, not completed it at all? Do you avoid taking on additional responsibility? Has the thought of not succeeding at something ever kept you from even making an attempt? Have you avoided doing something until it can be done just right? That is the fear of failure taking a grip on your life.

We procrastinate to protect ourselves, thinking that it is better to fail by not doing anything than to fail after trying our best and putting in a lot of effort. Or sometimes perfectionism, a form of procrastination, takes hold. If it can’t be done perfectly, we don’t do it at all.

We are so petrified of not succeeding that we don’t take any action at all. We make sure failing is not an option.

Fear of ridicule/judgement

Other people’s opinions terrify us. We are so worried about what other people might think of us and of our dreams or goals. Even when we really want something, we often hold ourselves back out of fear that others might think it’s stupid or that we can’t do whatever it is we want to do. What if they laugh or don’t understand? What if I mess up and look stupid?

Nobody enjoys being disliked or making mistakes in front of other people. Sometimes that leads us to inaction on a goal or dream. We want to be liked so we go with the crowd and keep our true selves a secret. We don’t want to look dumb so we don’t let others see certain parts of ourselves.

Fear of success

Sounds illogical, but the fear of success is real. It’s not fear of the success itself, but more so the results and consequences of achieving success.

Success can be scary when it’s new or unknown. The change that comes with it can lead to uncertainty.

We might be afraid of reactions from friends and family members for the better lifestyle that comes with our success.

We might feel unworthy of success or incapable of achieving it, or like we won’t be able to handle success if it does come.

How to overcome this obstacle to success

Fear is a natural process meant to protect us from danger. Everyone experiences fear at some point in one way or another. It is inevitable.

However, not facing our fears is what allows them to grow. The more we avoid something we are afraid of, the bigger it becomes in our heads. Avoiding it doesn’t make it go away but instead builds and builds until the thing that scares us is paralyzing to even think about.

The good news is that fear only has power if we give it power. Fear doesn’t have to rule our lives or be our biggest obstacle to success. There are ways to overcome it. Facing and working through our fears can lead us to achieve our goals and live out our dreams.

We absolutely will mess up when we try something new. We need to accept it and learn from our mistakes.

A few tips for overcoming fear:

-Become more self-aware.

-Identify fears and their root cause and write them down. Understanding why you are afraid is a big part of diminishing it.

-Determine the worst possible outcome if your fear is realized (be realistic.)

-Recognize your fear in the moment. Feel the fear, and then do the thing anyway.

-Remember that making mistakes is part of learning.

-Take steps to improve your self-esteem.

-Affirmations are extremely powerful. Write them down, say them out loud, or meditate on them. When you tell yourself something often enough, you start to believe it. Here are a few to get you started.

-It is okay to have this fear.

-The only failure is the failure to try.

-I am courageous and take chances.

-I inhale confidence and exhale fear.

-My confidence in my abilities gets stronger every day.

-I embrace my mistakes because they help me grow.

-I overcome fear by pushing through.

-Facing my fears strengthens and empowers me.

Face your fears and act in spite of them to experience success in ways you never imagined!